Writing about family is somewhat unfamiliar territory for me, and it’s important to acknowledge that what I’m about to discuss doesn’t apply universally; there are numerous exceptions.
When it comes to our families or even discussing family matters, we find ourselves at our most vulnerable. Some people readily embrace the topic and share stories about their families, while others seek to change the subject as quickly as possible if family is brought up in conversation.
Within families, there are siblings who are best friends, practically inseparable, and parents whose relationships with their children are akin to cherished friendships. Conversely, there are those who have gone years, even decades, without speaking to one another.
In my experience, and for many people I know, we often find ourselves somewhere in the middle. This middle ground can be characterized by sentiments like “we’re family, not friends” or “we’ll do anything for each other but don’t communicate frequently between family events and holidays.”
Here’s my perspective on the matter: except for our intimate relationships, we are at our most vulnerable when it comes to our family. The pain we feel when we hurt or are hurt by a family member can be deeper than any other. Conversely, we often want to share our good news or achievements with our family before anyone else.
Families love one another unconditionally, but navigating familial love can be tricky because we are all individuals with our own beliefs and communication styles. Sometimes, we don’t recognize or understand how our family members are expressing their love for us, and we might feel misunderstood. It’s crucial to recognize that respect and love can be conveyed and defined differently by each family member.
I believe there are three key elements to fostering great, effective, and healthy relationships with family members:
- Set and Establish Boundaries: Clearly define what you’re willing to tolerate and what you stand for. Boundaries are vital not just in family relationships but in all aspects of life.
- Put Your Ego Aside: We often operate from our ego rather than our higher self. If you find yourself being overly sensitive, try to understand where others are coming from and put yourself in their shoes. Also, reevaluate whether your boundaries have been effectively established.
- Never Question Anyone’s Intent: Questioning a family member’s intent or telling them what their intent should be can strain or even destroy a relationship. Have you ever had someone question your intent?
I know this might not be the most optimistic perspective, but if we want to share our lives with our family, it’s essential to come from a place of love and contribution. Accept the differences and imperfections, and trade expectations for appreciation. Remember, these are the people who have your back, just as you have theirs. Family is your tribe.
I welcome feedback and any additional suggestions in the comments. Have a fantastic Saturday! Much love.
