One of the most influential books that I have ever read is Alan Cohen’s “Why Your Life Sucks”. This book provides the reasons why some do not live a fulfilled life.
The book is an easy read of about 240 pages and I got through it in two days. The chapters in the book provide each reason why your life sucks, and there are ten of them. I still go back and refer to the ten reasons as a refresh and reminder to make sure that I do not indulge in these ten principles.
Listed here are the ten reasons why your life sucks:
In this blog, I want to talk about something that I never liked and feared and that is the power of deadlines or better yet, the power of enforcing deadlines.
Yes, deadlines are usually set by others and we usually react to them. Deadlines can be to arrive at a place at a certain time, multiple projects at work, or getting your rent or mortgage payment paid by a certain time.
What I have found though is the opportunity not only to meet the deadlines set by others, yet we can establish and enforce our own deadlines to get whatever we dream or desire to get accomplish.
Without deadlines, we will not reach our dreams. It is a key ingredient to make us grow and become more. In addition, we can be the best version our ourselves.
As Ryan Blair of the 100 Day Challenge states, “how you treat deadlines speaks volumes about you, your belief systems, your reputation, your results, and your future”.
Deadlines are the ultimate source of inspiration because it raises our standards. Raising our standards means raising our rewards. Deadlines forces us to step up our game and perform to the best of our abilities.
Deadlines in addition creates urgency to get goals achieved and gets us fired up, focused, and engaged.
Here are the benefits of enforcing deadlines in your life:
Deadlines empower focus.
Deadlines prioritizes activities.
Deadlines enforce accountability.
Deadlines demonstrate commitment.
Deadlines create a massive sense of urgency.
As we can see, deadlines are not the enemy nor something to fear. Deadlines are a secret weapon, which creates growth. It gets us out of our comfort zone, and we know that all the fulfillment and growth lie outside of our comfort zone.
I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback around deadlines and what deadlines do you set for yourself.
In this video, I talk about on what we focus on, creates our reality and state. The famous saying is “where focus goes, energy flows”.
One of the things that I have been doing in the morning is shifting my focus during my commute. In the past, I usually would open up my facebook or twitter and scroll through the news feeds. I would also check out the news as well. I began to notice that I was feeling down, depressed, and even tense.
Then I decided to go to Evernote to look at my goals and vision and then found myself feeling better and happier. I felt that my esteem was much stronger as well. I started to focus on what I needed to accomplish and how I was going to be able to get this done. My state became much more positive and my physiology was much more resourceful where I became incredibly energized.
We will get more tired watching tv passively and feel a sense of low energy, especially if the tv program is not one of growth and self development.
What I now found myself doing is reviewing what my values, vision, purpose, and goals every morning to get myself off to a fast start and create momentum throughout the day.
I would love to hear your feedback and comments about focus and energy as well as what you focus on each and everyday and what are your rituals to make sure you are living your day to the fullest.
In the first month of my monthly goals report, I had some wins and some developmental opportunities as well.
My wins have been the following:
Juicing 4 times/week
30 Day Gratitude and Forgiveness Challenge
I am on pace to get to 175 pounds by March 31st.
Some of my goals are still dated in the future, like the YouTube subscribers as well as my vegan challenge.
Some of the areas that I need to drastic improve are my business and learning goals. Here are the goals that I am falling short and not on pace:
Having 85 YouTube videos by December 31, 2018
Having 70 written blogs on www.missionfulfillment.com by December 31, 2018
To have 20 books read by December 31st.
I am okay if I don’t get to 20 books by the end of the year, as long as I make significant progress. For the videos and blogs, I want to be able to serve you and add value to your life. Thus, I am going to commit to make sure that I achieve the video and blog goals. Not only that, but to produce great quality video and blogs.
I thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas as well and truly appreciate you staying on the journey with me.
In this blog, I would like to talk about coping skills when a relationship ends due to your partner meeting another person. I want to talk about this subject because the path and mission to fulfillment involves making progress in all aspects of our lives including our relationships. A big part of having a rich and fulfilled relationship is learning
how to accept the end of one.
There are those people who end up meeting and marrying their high school sweetheart, that is only 2% of the population who fall under this category. The remaining 98% will go through a break up and deal with heartache at least once in their life. Also, there could potentially be a time when a breakup happens because one half of the couple
meets someone else. No question this can be a traumatic experience and can take a significant period of time in which to heal. Yet, this can also be a great opportunity for growth and development as we strive to work through feelings of loss, betrayal, anger, and even bitterness. When we learn to handle these emotions in a healthy way, we
are better prepared to accept a new relationship when it comes our way.
In addition, one will go into the next relationship and other areas of their lives much stronger and more fulfilled by overcoming this experience. Is it possible to take your life to the next level after a break up? Yes, it definitely is. Is it possible to take your career, finances, health, emotions, relationships, and connection to your creator to new
level? Absolutely. So here is how we can cope with losing a loved one, even when you get dumped for another girl or guy.
1. Analyze the relationship and what remember the things that made that relationship great. What memories of sacrifice, love, service, and kindness did you share with one another? How can you bring those positive memories to the next relationship? What problems within the relationship may have contributed to its dissolution? How can you improve upon those problems as you pursue a fulfilling relationship with another
person? One thing I want to be clear on: if you were left for another person because they had a larger bank account, looked a certain way, or any other shallow, self-serving reasons, then my suggestion is to recognize the one who left you has much to work through on a personal level. You deserve better. Get over it. #$#%% them. They don’t deserve you, period. Your ex-partner was nothing but a shallow and insecure person who looked to outside sources to fulfill them. Someone like that will go from relationship to relationship and be unhappy and restless for the rest of their lives, unless they make some major changes from within. You deserve better, much better. Usually that is not the case. Your ex-partner and you really had something special at one time and both of you are extremely caring and giving people. Unfortunately, both of you just don’t belong to each other anymore. Maybe you don’t know that yet. However, in time that person gave you a gift, the gift of themselves, and it is now time to move forward. Has there been a time in the past where something awful or even devastating happened maybe five years ago? Where are you now because of that circumstance? Thus, it is good to look at ourselves and see who we were in the relationship. If you are a masculine man who was with a feminine woman, were you consistently present at all times in the relationship? Did you pay attention and listen to her all the time? Did you make her feel safe? If you are a feminine woman with a masculine man, did you undercut him? Did you mother him? If the answer is “yes” to any of these, they are relationship killers. Let me point out that not all women are feminine at their core and not all men are masculine at their core. I plan to write a separate blog later on masculine and feminine energies. Yet know this, you need a masculine energy and a feminine energy to create that passion even in
same sex relationships.
2. Spend quality time by yourself. Let’s be very aware here, not all alone time is created equal. Quality time is an important distinction. What do I mean by that? Get out a journal and start writing. Write down your thoughts both good and bad. More importantly, write about what you are grateful for in this moment, what you’ll have to be grateful for in the future, and even what you had to be grateful for in that relationship. Don’t get me wrong. It’s okay to be sad and mourn. The grieving period will be a necessary part of healing, but we need to be conscious of how long we live there in that period of mourning. We can’t get stuck. If we do that, then we build a habit and an addiction. Other quality time is to do something you love to do that maybe you didn’t have much of an opportunity to do during your relationship. Play tennis, play golf, go to a movie, or go to a trade show.
3. Be real with friends and family. Yes, we will need friends and family, good shoulders to cry on, but we need to see the break up as it is, not worse than it is. Yes, this is a heartbreaking time and also a time to reevaluate. However, we need to make sure we do not overindulge in the process and create unnecessary drama. Be honest with your loved ones on what is good and not good about this. Do not hide your feelings, but make sure you don’t allow those feelings to get off track. We see the break up as it is, we need to see it better than it is. When a relationship ends, both parties need to leave it better than it was in the beginning. We need to realize all the great opportunities that are ahead of us, whether it is making new connections or even new distinctions in our lives. Then we make our lives better than it was before. I know many ask if it is okay to remain friends with an ex. That all depends upon the individual and how emotional the relationship
was. One thing for sure, take the time you need to spend by yourself and reevaluate as mentioned above and with friends for an indefinite period of time after the break up. Both parties need that time to rebuild their lives.
4. Be giving, caring, loving, and compassionate. Tony Robbins says, “The secret to living is giving”. One of the biggest cures when we have the blues is to reach out to others. We live in a world with plenty of people less fortunate than we are. No matter how bad things are, there is someone out there who has it even worse. Maybe acts of service will help some recharge their own spiritual batteries. Reach out and volunteer in a community. One can visit a resting home or nursing home and meet a new friend. Always focus on the well-being of others including people we have not met. When we are loving and kind, sadness and anger dissipate.
5. Focus on gratitude. Just like I mentioned about being loving, being grateful in the moment is very powerful. We cannot be angry and grateful simultaneously. We cannot be depressed and grateful at the same time. Take time each day to focus on what you are grateful for. Write it down in a journal. Be grateful for the little things like a rain drop or an eyelash as well as the big things like your health and friends.
6. Lastly, hold yourself to a higher standard. I know. Why is this here? Aren’t we supposed to deal with coping? Yes. The best way to get over a break up is by consistently improving ourselves in order to progress to the next level of mastery. Feeling sad is normal, but we can’t wallow in self-pity. We’ll lose an important connection within ourselves and our ability to connect with others. Declare to yourself that you will not
tolerate self-pity. The higher standard is to just love ourselves more unconditionally. Accept your own mistakes and forgive yourself. Take care of your health in fitness. If you don’t exercise, start exercising. If you do work out, take it to the next level. Constantly making progress increases self-esteem and gains momentum. Break-ups are painful. Break-ups that involve a breach in trust. It can make you feel insignificant at the moment. Yet, we can only live there for a very short time. The reason being is that when one feels insignificant, they will look for ways to feel significant through destructive behavior such as revenge and lashing out to others. That only creates regret. We need to know we are incredible no matter what anyone else says or does to us. Let me know your thoughts about this blog. Feel free to let me know what works for you in dealing with a situation like this.
Please leave a comment below or let me know any questions you have.I’d love to hear what you think!
Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on YouTube or below on the blog.I appreciate it!
As part of my mission to fulfillment, I am taking a giant step this year by making goals for myself. Not only that, I am writing down my goals and making goals in all areas of my life. More importantly, I am sharing my goals with everyone which forces me to put myself on the line knowing that I have to take action in order to complete them. My coach Stefan James from Project Life Mastery taught me this method as he has been announcing his goals for six years now.
So here are my 2018 Goals:
A. Health and Fitness
I will easily workout 4 times/week
I will easily lose 20 pounds and be at 175 pounds by March 31st
I will juice 4 times/week
I will easily complete a 7 day juice cleanse – target date – May
I will easily do a 30 day vegan challenge – March or April
I will easily complete a colonoscopy by March 31st
I will perform all the necessary tests for kidney stones and sarcoidosis by December 31st
B. Business and Finance
I will easily have 100 YouTube subscribers by December 31st
I will easily have 5 coaching clients by December 31st
I will easily get promoted to Senior Risk Analyst by December 31st
I will easily learn a new skill in my business once per month by December 31st
I will easily have 8,000 Facebook likes by June 30th
I will easily produce 85 YouTube videos by December 31st
I will easily commit to having 70 written blogs by December 31st
I will easily have my bio completed on all my pages by February 28th: Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, Website, and Instagram
C. Learning
I will easily complete Lewis Howe’s Instagram trainman by January 31st
I will easily complete Affiliate Marketing Mastery by February 28th
I will easily complete K Money Mastery by April 30th, including the VA and Full Disclosure
I will easily complete section 101 of RMT by June 30th
I will easily complete section 102 of RMT by October 31st
D Reading
I will easily complete 20 books by December 31st
E. Relationships
I will easily spend 2 hours/week of quality time with Carmen whether it be alone time or having a date night.
I will easily visit a family member once every two weeks
I will easily plan a vacation for Carmen and myself by December 31st
I will easily socialize with friends 2 times/month
F. Lifestyle
I will easily travel to Spain to see my grandfather’s city with my father, his wife, and Carmen by December 31st
I will easily attend one seminar by December 31st
I will easily attend one tennis tournament by December 31st, whether it is Miami, US Open or another tournament
G. Spiritual
I will easily complete a 30 day gratitude and forgiveness challenge by March 31st
I will easily contribute a $1,000 to a combination of charities by December 31st
I will easily read through “A Course In Miracles” at least once/month whether it is 10 or 100 pages by December 31st
I will easily pray daily to my creator in order to use me to be grateful throughout the day so everyone around me will be touched and maybe even inspired and feel important
I will easily complete the greeting card and note challenge of writing to a stranger how much they are loved and cared for by December 31st.
In this blog, I wanted to talk about overcoming sadness, loneliness, and even depression during the holidays.
I am inspired to write this blog because I too am about to face my first Christmas where I will be alone. My wife is traveling to Toronto to be with her cousins. I decided to stay back to work on my business, goal setting, and get ready for 2018. As I always believe, it is great to teach what you need to learn.
So here is how to overcome loneliness and sadness over the holidays:
Being lonely and alone are not the same, do things you love to do.
Many people misconstrue that when someone is single or alone, they are lonely. Actually, some of the most happy, secure, and balanced people are actually single and alone. They also truly enjoy spending time alone. Of course, it is extremely important to spend some time each week being and doing things by yourself. Have you ever been to a party and had a lousy time and even was depressed? We all have. Have you ever felt like you were lonely at a party? Sometimes, people will feel much less lonely doing what they love to do like reading a book. What do you love to do when you are alone? Is it watching your favorite shows? Is it cooking a new recipe? Is it writing in your journal and highlighting special moments in your life? One thing I love to do is watch sports and go out for a walk and listen to music that energizes and inspires me. I know that I will go for a nice walk. Maybe even a couple of walks during the day. I will tune into Tennis Channel and maybe watch a current or classic tennis match. Later I will check out some NBA basketball games that will be on.
Always utilize and take advantage of doing the things you love.
Put yourself out there.
A dear friend of mine always says, “Get out there”. He is right in that advice. What do I mean by this? Connect with others and there are many avenues to do this in 2017. I will make some short and surprise visits to family that I know that I will be welcomed (let’s hope so, lol). Now, I understand putting yourself out there and reaching out to others is an emotional risk to those that are lonely. Yet, the only way to get out of a rut, funk, and be happy is to get out of your comfort zone. Those that are lonely actually are addicted to feeling that way because it makes them feel safe for the moment with long term consequences. Simply ask friends and relatives (even extended) what they are doing for the holidays. Naturally they will ask you the same question. Most likely, an invitation to come over or get together will occur. We think sometimes that others do not care. Yet, nothing can be further from the truth. It is natural to be loving and caring for others. Last year, my wife knew that a colleague was going to spend Thanksgiving alone because the rest of his family was in China. As a result, we invited him over for Thanksgiving dinner and was able to experience how we celebrated Thanksgiving dinner. If you are more likely to openly invite someone over for the holidays, it is definitely certain others will want to invite you over as well. Other ways to connect is easy. If a dear friend or relative are far, facetime with them. There are many avenues like Skype, Whatsapp, and even just using your cell phone to facetime. Maybe texting and messaging is another way. You can wish all your contacts a Happy Holidays through text and messaging. I know that I am going to place a bit emoji on everyone’s Facebook wall to wish them a Merry Christmas.
Focus on grace, presence, and gratitude.
It is always important to have a direct mind and heart, especially during the Holidays. Understanding that we are here on this earth, right now and right here at this moment in time is extremely gratifying. Why? We have the greatest opportunities and resources than ever before. Even 10 years ago, the smart phone was just launching and working out the kinks. Today, we have access to anything we want on a small device. We can read, listen to music, shop, watch tv, talk on the phone, write letters, take pictures and videos, as well as perform many other functions.
Always hold yourself in the highest level of regard and grace. Be good to yourself. Enjoy the moments you have and don’t worry about anything like what are you going to do. We are here at this moment and we have many things to be grateful. Remember, there are those who live on less than $3/day. Matter of fact more than ½ the world does. Thus, we have no problems.
Focus on Giving
As Tony Robbins says, “The secret to living is giving”. When we focus on helping, loving, and caring for others with no expectations, fear, depression, and anger disappears. Visit a rest or nursing home and spend quality time with them. Always give and help others who are in need and don’t have the blessings we have, at least at this moment. Maybe go and by groceries for a family who has been struggling. Dress up as the delivery person and leave a meal at their doorsteps. There are many ways to give back to others.
As always, I would love to hear your feedback and other methods on how we can overcome being alone, lonely, and depressed on the holidays. As remember, that life here and now is truly a blessing and a gift from our creator and what we do with it is our gift in return.
I wish all of you a great, joyful, and happy holiday to you and your loved ones. May God bless you.
In this blog, I wanted to talk about the four levels of love that Tony Robbins shares in his seminars. The level of love we operate not affects others, yet it affects our own lives, well being, and will determine whether we are fulfilled.
So here are the four levels of love:
BABY LOVE – This is brat like love that isn’t really love, it’s just a demand. We call it baby love because despite being adorable, babies are not loving unless they are getting what they want. Unfortunately, we can be at this level as adults in our relationships, friendships, and family.
HORSE-TRADING – This is one level up from baby love. Here is we decide to love the person and give love, but there has to be something in return. It is called horse trading or an exchange. Waiting for something in return, even when you’re not asking for anything, there is an expectation. When it is not met, you get angry.
REAL LOVE – This unconditional love. Your needs are my needs and that I love you no matter what. Giving because it is who you are. It’s what you do. This level of love will create incredibly lasting relationships.
SPIRITUAL LOVE – You love even though it hurts you. You don’t stay so they can continue to hurt you, but you love them anyway. i.e. – The Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela.
I would love to get your feedback on these four levels of love and what level of love do you operate at most? Where do you operate at your relationships, family, friendships, interaction day to day with strangers, and work colleagues?
In this quick blog, I wanted to share a passage that I wrote a few years back. I came up with this talking about working and life. I sat down and came up with this quickly. It serves as a reminder to me what is most important in life.
Here it is:
We eat to live, not live to eat
We spend to live, not live to spend
We work to live, not live to work
We exercise to live, not live to exercise
What do we live for?
We live to give
We live to grow
We live for now
We live to forgive
We live to be grateful
Blessings
I added to later:
We live to serve God
We live to serve each other
We live to love
I would love to hear your thoughts on this passage on what you agree, disagree, or would add to either side of the list.
In this blog I wanted to talk about what is called “the 7 lies to success”. It is also been called the 7 character traits of a champion. This was created by Tony Robbins who wrote a chapter in his book, “Unlimited Power”. Tony also shares this in his seminars as well.
In this world and society, we get to choose where we live whether it is consciously or unconsciously. If we choose love and happiness, that’s what we get. If we choose misery, that’s what we get too.
The first step towards excellence is to find the beliefs that will lead us there. We need to find the beliefs that will support the outcome we want. If your beliefs do not do that, we need to throw them out and develop new ones.
When Tony Robbins came up with these 7 beliefs, he used the word “lie” because we do not know exactly how things are or suppose to be. Lies in this case do not mean to be “deceitful” or “dishonest”. It means no matter how much we believe in a concept, we should be open to other possibilities and ideas.
These 7 lies or beliefs is what Tony found in successful people he modeled. As a result, many have used these beliefs to take greater action and produce outstanding results. So here they are.
Everything happens for a reason and purpose and it serves us. No matter how much negative feedback successful people get, they think in terms of possibilities. At first, it takes great discipline to learn from tough setbacks. However being upset and frustrated does not lead us to our desired goal.
There is no such thing as failure, there are only results. Most people in our culture fear failure. Yet successful people try something and if they don’t get what they want, they look at it as a learning experience. They take a new action and produce a new result. Thomas Edison tried 9999 times to perfect the light bulb and said that he never failed. Each time he discovered another way not to invent the light bulb.
Whatever happens, take responsibility. Leaders believe they create their own world. They believe what happens is the result of their creation no matter the outcome. It is an excellent measure of power and maturity.
It is not necessary to understand everything to use everything. Successful people know how to use what is essential without getting bogged down into detail. People in power like a CEO have knowledge about many things, but little mastery in details of each. They are always aware how much they need to know.
People are your greatest resource. Leaders have a great appreciation of people. They have a sense of team and unity. They learn to create rapport. Companies who succeed are the ones who treat people with respect and dignity.
Work is play. Anyone who has achieved massive success just love what they do. “When I work, I relax” Pablo Picasso. “The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation” Mark Twain. There are many that are working toward doing what they love. Yet, we can get creative on ways we can currently love what we do.
There is no abiding success without commitment. Those who succeed have the power of commitment. One example is American football player, Tom Brady. He is someone who doesn’t have the strongest arm, fastest legs, or the most athletic. There were 198 players picked before him when he was drafted. Yet, Tom is committed to being the best. As a result, he is arguably the greatest player of all time to play his position.
Are there any beliefs that you would add to this list? Do you find these beliefs useful and beneficial or would you take away any of them. I would love to get your feedback on them.
