I am going to be vulnerable here. I truly struggle in social situations and have struggled with it through most of my life. Having a case of shyness and social anxiety of some extent has been extremely difficult and at times prevented me from having the life I truly want.
I also know that I am not alone feeling awkward in social situations. Some have it even worse than I do, where one could even be afraid to go to the store. Yet by me sharing and completely being authentic, I know I can help others face their fear of being in social situations.
We know social anxiety and shyness occurs with us being among friends, at a party, approaching a guy or girl, or even a one to one interaction. However, social anxiety also occurs in day to day life, in business, talking to a someone who you need assistance like a repairman, and of course at work with customers and colleagues. It can be very uncomfortable and frightened for some. More importantly shyness and social anxiety can crush peoples dreams. It can kill a dream job and can kill having that dream relationship. It also profoundly affects motional and spiritual life.
Fortunately, I have learned to deal with this dilemma I have met this challenge head on by admitting that I can be shy and afraid to speak up. I have also put myself in situations where I get uncomfortable and step up. David Goggins states that we should never triple down on our strengths, but work on our weaknesses and make them strengths. If we know that this process is going to suck and know we will be better for it, we do it.
Finding a cure all for social anxiety and shyness does not exist. We need to work at it and practice it everyday. There is no magic pill. Yet, there are strategies we can implement and work on overcoming shyness and many other areas in life we want to enhance.
Here are some strategies that have worked for me. I am not saying they are the solution. However, it has worked for me.
- Get Uncomfortable. I already mentioned this. Yet, shy people love to get in this comfort zone and don’t want to leave it. However, we need to get out there and be awkward, say something that you know you might feel humiliated, approach that girl or guy. My friend was once a dating coach for men. His first strategy for his clients was to go to a club, bar, or mall and get rejected at least 10 times before the night was over. The next night he had his clients do it again. Face your demons and fears head on.
- Make eye contact with others, stay in the moment, and listen to their story. Showing that you care for another person and their story is very powerful. I know for me, I live too much on what’s ahead and stay away from the moment not realizing that there is another human being. Ask open ended questions to that person on what they’re passionate.
- Get in a beautiful state. By changing your state, you change your emotions. If you feel anxious change your state. Our emotions have the ability to control everything in our lives. We can change our state in many ways. The easiest way is to changing your physiology. Stand up or sit up state without slouch and smile will change your state radically. Take the time to make sure that your mindset is positive and resourceful. We can do this by getting up going to the gym, meditate, or listening to music. Watch YouTube videos that will empower you to get in a state where you are socially confident.
- Have compassion for everyone. Similar to the # 2, we have to be able to give back and show we care. We never know what another person is going through. Coming from a loving place. If you come from a place of giving and caring for another person without focusing on yourself or your needs, shyness and anxiety will disappear.