Are you living your life to please others. Are you constantly saying yes, when you want to say no. If you are doing these things, my advice is simple: Stop doing this.
Those who are consistently pleasing each other have tremendous challenges speaking the truth in uncomfortable situations. They are usually internally passive aggressive (externally at times as well). As a result, they lack self esteem, self love, and are unfulfilled. Unconsciously, they are pleasing others to get something in return. However, they are not communicating to the other person their needs or desires what they want in return.
Also, pleasers say “yes” when they want to say “no”.
Here are some strategies to stop people pleasing:
- Get real with yourself: identify your intent and why are you pleasing. Right down a journal and have the courage of being honest with yourself that your life conditions do not match your blueprint. Create the blueprint and life you want to live on paper.
- Know who you are pleasing: identify the people in your life that you are pleasing and why are you pleasing them. Is it to keep peace in the family? Is it because you believe that person could give you something in return?
- If you say “yes” all the time when you want to say “no”, start saying instead, “let me get back to you”. By doing this, you can evaluate on the cost and benefits of saying “yes”. If saying “yes” serves your vision and life desires, then “yes” is the answer. If saying “yes” is going to cause an inconvenience to you even short term, “no” has to be the answer.
- Know and review your goals: Need to clarify and understand the direction of where your life is going. When you have goals that are transparent, you will know what direction you want your life to go. Thus, take action towards getting these goals achieved. Know where you want to be next year, next month, one year, and even five years. Then say “yes” when a task is meeting these goals and objectives.